Ramadansang i Højskolesangbogen er en måde at få islam ind med modermælken

Vi må ikke vise skolebørnene Muhammedtegninger, men de må gerne synge om den hyggelige ramadan. Det skurrer i mine ører.

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Ramadan singing in the Folk High School songbook is a way to force feed Islam to the Danes

We are not allowed to show school children Muhammad drawings, but they are welcome to sing about the pleasant Ramadan. That sentiment is out of tune.

The folk high school songbook reflects not only our common singing culture but our general Danish culture and identity. Year after year, one school class after another sits and sings along to songs taken from the Folk High School songbook as part of their general formation process.

The latest version also shares the waters this time, the balance between tradition and renewal is not easy. On Thursday 12 November, the 19th edition of Højskolesangbogen was published, which has not been edited since 2006.

Over time, the songbook has been renewed, each time focusing on reflecting its time. New songs are added and old ones smoke out as time changes. But when society changes, attitudes are broken. Therefore, each new edition of the Folk High School Songbook is both cultural and political.

Jørgen Carlsen, chairman of the Folk High School Songbook Committee and former headmaster at Testrup Folk High School, has stated several times that the committee’s work is not political. But of course it is.

Islam is being discussed like never before, not just in Denmark but throughout Europe. Despite what imams and Islamic spokespeople say, it is quite common Dane hard to see religious direction as the religion of peace, we get by knowing it.

But Islam is a part of Danish society, whether we like it or not. This suggests that we include the Ramadan song in the Folk High School songbook.

Still, I get a weird taste in my mouth when I hear Isam B’s song. Because I feel manipulated. My brain will not really understand that every day I hear about new atrocities committed by the same religion, which is now to be staged as a cozy date-eater by candlelight in a Nørrebro apartment.

At the same time, I find it extremely inappropriate that certain songs are smoked out of the Folk High School songbook due to their implicit archaic attitudes towards women but that a song about Ramadan, and thus implied Islam, with its petrified female ideals takes the place.

If you know a little bit about Isam B. and the band Outlandish , you will know that there have been several controversies that stand in sharp contrast to the self-understanding that most Danes identify with, especially when it comes to the relationship to freedom of speech, women and alcohol.

The two Muslim members of the band have thus performed at an event called Reviving the Islamic Spirit , where homosexuals and Jews were put to hatred.

And then there was the story of the Norwegian singer Herborg Kråkevik who had to be sent to the opposite end of the stage at DR’s rehearsal on their Christmas show with the Danish Radio Entertainment Orchestra, because Outlandish would not be on the same stage with a woman whose shoulders were not covered. An episode the band very deftly has refused to comment on.

And last but not least, it is well known that the band before, during and after several of their concerts did not want to allow the beer tents to sell alcohol.

It seems to me somewhat backwards that inclusion only goes one way. It is an invitation into the Danish community when the song is included in the Folk High School songbook. But the Ramadan song itself represents through its Islamic connotations the exact opposite of inclusion.

And how does the chairman of the Folk High School Songbook Committee Jørgen Carlsen then explain the choice of the Ramadan song? “It’s not for the sake of Muslims, it’s for all of us non-Muslims. Because it is about a piece of Danish reality as it takes shape in a part of the population. ” That claim could rightly be said to take care of a lot of other subcultures in Denmark?

The folk high school songbook should not represent what I think, but it should represent the Danish people. But that does not mean that everyone should be represented.

I have it for example. fine that two sects that in their basic essence are anything but embracing, namely Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons, do not appear in the inclusive High School Songbook. I find it strange that Islam, especially considering how dogmatic the faith is, must be included in the Folk High School songbook and thus get a place in the Danish song tax.

And then it is ironic that the little pods in the coming primary school classes have to sit and sing along to a song about Ramadan at the same time as they are not allowed to learn about the Muhammad cartoons – it rubs in the ears.

Some songs have been smoked out, 151 have been added. Such must be the case in a song treasure that tries to move with time.

I am aware that it is easy to throw away the Islamophobic card . But for me to see the inclusion of an Islam-glorifying song goes directly against the intention of the Folk High School songbook, when the dialogue only goes one way.

(Google translate)

Socialisering foregår i skolen. Uden den bliver næste generation uvidende og ignorante og demokratiet udvandes

Den demokratiske fane skal holdes højt. Men det skal ske gennem lovgivning, ikke individuel heltedåd.

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Socialization takes place in school. Without it, the next generation becomes ignorant and ignorant and democracy is diluted

The democratic flag must be held high. But it must be done through legislation, not individual heroic deeds.

When I went to school, I was exempt from what was then called Christian Studies. My family were Witnesses of Johova , and their faith was apparently so weak that we little pods at any cost had to be screened for alternative ways of relating to religion.

Right now, France in particular is under pressure. But across Europe, peoples and politicians are struggling to deal with the hatred and insanity that blind religious sectarianism can be a hotbed of.

Even many years after I left the sect, I had a hard time understanding what people outside (Jehovah’s Witnesses) thought about Christianity and religion, for I had never been exposed to what different thinking people thought. If at that time in the 1980s I had been allowed to sit in the classroom at Ulstrup School, it may be that I would have understood that there are many ways to be spiritual. Perhaps the same can be said of today’s youth if they are exposed to different ways of looking at the world, religiously, ideologically and culturally?

When we hear in the news about both with immigrants, about camps filled with mud after the slightest rainstorm, about children cutting themselves because they can not endure living, then I understand well, one dreams of a better life in a Europe flowing with milk and honey.

I’m divided. On one side is my notion of who it is that is seeking Europe. I myself have gone to the USA to get adventures and better opportunities than I had in Denmark. I can easily understand that you look for where you think the possibilities for a better life lie.

On the other hand, I struggle with an anger at the indifference and contempt for the values and societies that provide space and screens – obviously also those that will destroy our democracies from within.

When I hear about a high school teacher who wants to promote the debate and have his students think independently but ends up being beheaded in the open street when I read that a migrant who arrived in one of the aforementioned boats a month ago goes into a church and liquidate 3 innocent churchgoers, when I hear about a Belgian teacher being fired because he has shown a prophetic drawing, I am filled with resentment.

For how can one come and want the benefits without accepting the premises of the way of life that is precisely the basis for the continent to have the standard it has?

I am afraid that the rights that my generation enjoyed and the manners we did not even question are slowly being eroded. When I think back to my school days, I can not imagine at all that there were topics we were not allowed to discuss. Not so anymore.

The United States has a huge fear of being touched in terms of daring to talk about the problems the country has with race and religion. Many universities have banned topics and literature that until recently have been part of the general education and used in the education of critical thinking young people. Ignorance and ignorance, not to mention intolerance, are not conducive to anyone, either here in the United States or in Europe.

When we give in, we give both right-wing extremist Christians in the United States and Islamists a victory – the problem is that they never get enough. Once they have one victory, they move on to the next item on their agenda. A democracy is only as strong as its citizens, and it can be strong if we stand firm on fundamental principles and do not shy away from misunderstood considerations.

If there is one thing the last 4 years in the United States have taught me, it is that one cannot take democracy and civil rights for granted. If you do, the population can quickly lose ballroom rights. Perhaps Europe is realizing the same thing.

If the people of Europe are scared and politicians do not dare to show where they stand in terms of legislation, then the next generation of young people will not only become ignorant and ignorant , they will also accept living in a society that has degraded democracy.

Right now, it seems as if dark forces are succeeding in terrorizing the majority population to a cowed bend in the neck and a red pen on the newspaper editorials and in the teachers’ annual plans.

It should not be up to individual brave teachers to take it upon themselves to teach students freedom of speech and general human rights, no matter how brave and honorable it may be. Individually, we are not achieving anything, it is in unison, and with the support of legislation, that we must fight for the values we say we tax, which are the foundation of our secular democracies.

(Google translate)

Danskerne kan noget, som bringer dem sikkert igennem corona: Tro på autoriteterne

Danskerne er ikke vant til de store udsving i deres levevis. Derfor har coronaen været en rutsjebanetur – også for mig, der bor i USA.

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The Danes know something that brings them safely through the corona : Believe in the authorities

The Danes are not used to the big fluctuations in their way of life. That’s why the corona has been a roller coaster ride – also for me who lives in the United States

Denmark is facing major changes due to high coronation . Allow me to share my experiences after living for months with coronary restrictions in the United States, where the pandemic is out of control.

My kids have not been to school since last week in February. All indications are that they will not return to their schools this school year. My husband has been working from home for the same period, his workplace has asked employees to work from home indefinitely, probably until summer.

When I see news from Denmark, I think it seems that new restrictions are on the way.

The picture that emerges when I read, hear and see people’s reactions to the corona here in the United States is that the hardest part is the mental forces that this crisis requires. There are many concerns. What happens if we become infected? How long does this last? When do the children return to school, and what does this time do to their mental health? When will a vaccine arrive? What happens if we lose our job? And what about our loved ones if they get infected or sit alone month after month? Can you trust what the public authorities are saying? How restrictive should I be in my travels when my neighbor is not?

Positive energy in the first stage of the pandemic

Getting used to corona quarantine has been quite a roller coaster ride . The first time we kept to ourselves, had no physical contact with friends and we met at the Friday bar online – it’s not quite the same. But we had a positive attitude, there was cheers, smiles and laughter – a will to make it succeed.

The long, cool move in the second stage of the pandemic

After some time, I put a reading lamp and an armchair into the bedroom and buried myself under a plaid with a good book. I needed a break from the needs of the kids. But that does not go in the long run. The kids came constantly roaring and did not understand where their maid had gone. I had to get up from the chair. There should still be lunch and snacks ready for the breaks and they should have help to make their everyday life work. A balance had to be found, but breaks for me had to be there – hence the armchair.

In the middle of the summer holidays, it was clear that the kids would not return to their schools when the school year began. That message was difficult. Because until then, we had agreed that the corona situation would be under control at about the same time as the children’s school year began.

It sounds naive now, but that’s how we thought for what now seems like an eternity ago. The brain had to understand that we had to adjust to the long, tough move.

Our 12-year-old daughter was furious at the news. She wanted in school, cost what it would! In her world, we are almost a necessary appendage that conveniently provides the most basic necessities. Where life really unfolds is in the interaction with friends.

What I have learned in the 8 months the corona has turned our lives upside down

All four of us have been home since late February. And here’s what I’ve learned: Take it easy. One finds a rhythm.

But I have also learned that it takes an incredible amount of effort from both children and adults to hold on to themselves and not panic when there is no predictability. We do not know how long we will live as we do now. We do not know how many human lives the pandemic will require.

Therefore, my focus has changed. Of course, the kids have to learn what they have to learn in school – and I think they do too. If not, then they should probably catch up. I spend less effort going through their work and checking if they have now remembered it all and attended the meetings they are going to.

More important is to relate to their physical and mental health. This is where I put my efforts into the rest of the pandemic race.

That is why we have also arranged for them to go to Taekwondo three times a week. And how does it go in these corona times ? Yes, twice a week they log on online and follow the lessons with a lot of other students, and once a week they meet alone with their instructor.

In addition, we bought an exercise bike. Here in Seattle, as you know, it is raining a lot, and for the next 9 months we can look forward to it not being possible to move outside to the same degree as it has been in the spring and summer.

We have set individual goals and overall family goals for the new monster in the living room – and made sure to put in rewards that are attractive to the kids. Exercise is not only good if you want to get rid of your corona part, it is also good for mental health.

But exercise all over the world does not make up for the social needs that children in particular have.

Perhaps the most important of our initiatives is that we have made a weekly online appointment with a child psychologist for each of the children – they each have their own need for help and support. Just as important as the weekly appointments with the therapist is that they see that the adults, who otherwise from their point of view must look as if they have no control over a shit in their world, do what they can to help and try to understand that it is not easy to be a child in the world they are in right now.

Our youngest son can not remember what life was like before the corona . Our elders need distance and to find their own way – it is obviously impossible in the situation we are in. They need to share their thoughts with a professional – it ultimately helps the whole family to thrive better, when they get some tools to understand and deal with their thoughts emotions.

Our corona reality right now

We have relaxed the attitude of seeing friends. We meet with two different pairs of friends. It has been absolutely amazingly uplifting. In my eagerness to make this work, I had forgotten how life-giving other people’s togetherness can be.

Each child is now allowed to see the same 3 children. The atmosphere at home and the children’s mood has improved markedly.

We get to bring everything from food, fruits and vegetables to books and clothes to the door. We get nowhere where there are other people. We have not been out to eat since January, we do not go to the cinema, to museums or to the theater. There has been one child’s birthday, but it was held at Zoom. When we go anywhere, we wear masks everywhere.

All the while, the corona is present in the everyday life that has now become so common that I fear if I can ever sit down at a restaurant table without thinking about all the baktus flying through the air. If everything was opened tomorrow, I do not think at all I would want to sit in a bar or a restaurant. It is thought-provoking how quickly man can get used to an everyday life that less than a year ago would have appeared as something from a dystopian film of the future.

Encouraging words to the Danes

When I see news from Denmark, I think it’s probably a shock for the Danes to hear that the numbers are growing every day. That they have become accustomed to the fact that a pandemic that is out of control was something that belonged to Southern Europe and the USA, Brazil and India, far away from Denmark’s borders.

How will the reaction be from the Danes’ side if strict restrictions are introduced – and here I do not think the restrictions, which must be described as fairly light , which the Danes have so far had to live with? How will they react if they, like us here in the United States, come to live with the same drastic reduction in lifestyles for months?

The Danes are not a people who are used to the big fluctuations. There is not much in recent times they have had to endure.

But the Danes have and can do something that other countries do not have and can do. There is a belief that the authorities want the best for the citizens, I have not seen in any other country outside Scandinavia. That, coupled with the fact that systems and processes have been fine-tuned for decades, creates fertile ground for a system that can get through the crisis in a better way than many other countries.

I hope the Danes stand together, because if everyone does their part, the country will return to a more normal everyday life more quickly. I do not want anyone to go through the same experiences that we have had here in the United States. But if so, keep up the good work. There is a tolerable everyday life in the intolerable.

(Google translate)

Jo mere divers den danske befolkning bliver, jo mindre taler vi sammen

Med spørgsmål og udveksling skal demokratier bestå

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The more diverse the Danish population becomes, the less we talk to each other

With questions and exchanges, democracies must survive

When I was a teenager, I threw myself into as many discussions with my family as I could possibly get to. My mother often looked at me angrily as she said, “Not everything is a discussion, everything is not to be debated!” “This is how you say when you do not have enough arguments”, I thought and continued my questions and arguments.

My mother was and still is one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and so was I, as a teenager living at home. There was just the problem that the older I got, the more critical questions I started asking.

“Why not have an abortion if you have become pregnant after a rape?” “Why is it the husband who is the head of the family, if it is the wife who is the wisest?” “Why not have sex before marriage?” “Why is the only permissible cause of divorce that one party is unfaithful?” “Why not love the one you love if you share the same sex?” – yes, to my mother’s great despair I had many questions.

My mother gave up, called the congregation elder who came and tried to knock some scriptures into my head.

At school I was called Ask Jørgen. I was hugely curious and inquisitive, I still am.

Exchange of views enriches

I live in the United States, just outside Seattle in the state of Washington. Fortunately for me, the vast majority of Americans are open and accommodating and like to share their thoughts on most things.

Living in the United States is a paradise for a curious soul. Here live people from vastly different cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds. There are many reasons why people think, believe and think the way they do – and I love hearing about them.

Today I had a conversation with a man about being the only Trump supporter for a baby show in Seattle, where the rest of the guests were Bident supporters.

I ask and ask. When I meet Trump supporters, I ask them what it is that appeals to them by him. When I meet African Americans, I ask how they experience the system in terms of race and equal opportunities. When I meet people who belong to LGBTQ, we talk about prejudice and acceptance.

We like to exchange views – just not when it comes to religion

But when it comes to religion, the situation is different. The only ones who bother to talk to me about that subject are the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses who occasionally knock on my door.

Jehovah’s Witnesses like to talk about their religion – on their terms. They have rehearsed answers to most things. I know, because even as a big kid, I practiced with the adults before knocking on people’s doors.

But if you start asking Jehovah’s Witnesses questions that they have not practiced, then the ground is shaking under their feet. Maybe that’s why they operate in pairs?

In Denmark, Jehovah’s Witnesses have always been looked down upon when they came in their suits with their Watchtower and Awake! Some have felt sorry for the poor children who are being dragged around Saturday morning and have offered them a cup of coffee. Others have suggested that if one simply spoke reason to them, then perhaps they would change some of their archaic attitudes.

Diversity closes the conversation, it is not good for democracy

In school we learned that if you have an attitude, then you must be able to argue for it – with words or pen and paper. Not in the form of pants water or a blood spout in the recess. No one should be afraid to say their opinion – or whether it would be settled in cash after school if they said something the bully of the class did not like.

Talking together and listening to each other and being critical is one of the crucial pillars of democracy, it is socialized into our pods from day one. It is through questions that we get to know each other – and perhaps dots for seats and customs that need a post-check.

If one cannot answer questions but has to resort to scriptures or hand out a spout of blood, then one’s attitudes are not strong enough. Questions can be difficult, they can be strong and powerful – they can make even the toughest nut to crack when he can not answer for himself. That’s why we taught young people in Jehovah’s Witnesses not to ask too many questions;

Democracy is in danger when anxiety stops for questions

Because it is i.a. that a secularized Western democracy can. Ask questions, be critical, engage in dialogue without regard to God, King and Fatherland. Or so it has been in the past.

As Denmark’s population composition has become more diverse , we should be able to have more enriching, interesting, exchanging conversations.

But it seems to me that the more diverse the population group in Denmark, yes in Europe, becomes, the fewer exchanging conversations we have with those who do not think, believe and think the same as us – for fear of being exposed to what is worse than trouser water and a blood spout.

(Google translate)

DRs nye serie ”Ulven kommer” er smerteligt genkendelig

Dramaet sitrer ikke kun i serien men også i hukommelsen

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DR’s new series “Cry Woolf” is painfully recognizable

The drama vibrates not only in the series but also in the memory.

The nausea moved up through the throat. I sank and sank. Meanwhile, I got a stomach ache, looked away from the screen, got up, lit candles, considered whether to turn off the television. »Is it too much for you? Is it getting too close? ”My husband asked.

Old emotions, even in a new life in a safe environment far away from sudden blows and mood swings, lurked just below the surface.

One identifies with the concerned social worker and the school teacher

Yesterday, Danmarks Radio premiered the series “The wolf is coming”. In a Danish style, Holly accuses her stepfather of violence, and the Danish teacher involves the municipality, which takes custody of the mother and places Holly and her little brother with a foster family.

Holly is brave. At least as a 14-year-old I did not dare to tell anyone about what was going on at our house.

There were several things that made the hairs stand up in the nape of my neck. The actors play their roles excellently and convincingly. It is easy to imagine the social worker from the municipality who sees a child in need and wants to help. The teacher who reacts after reading a Danish style, which for him is a cry for help, is also sympathized with. Holly’s mother who is confronted with a reality she cannot or will not relate to is played convincingly.

And then there’s Holly. Holly is 14, and it is her Danish style, in which she describes a violent episode at home in the family’s villa in a suburban neighborhood in Central Jutland, that makes the social authorities in top gear and the family drama roll.

Holly is brave. At least as a 14-year-old I did not dare to tell anyone about what was going on at our house.

Biggest of all is the Failure

DR portrays the mother’s reaction absolutely fantastic, frighteningly well. I can hardly be the only viewer who has experience with a mother who refused to believe the evidence presented by both her daughter and by the public authorities but instead accused her daughter of needing attention, inventing stories – yes, to definitely lie.

Holly’s reaction to the failure, her quiet but desperate pleading on the phone in an attempt to get her mother to be there for her, is raw and painfully recognizable. Holly hopes that by revealing the family secret, she will now have a mother who is there for her, shielding her, giving her the faith and feeling that Holly means everything. That she as a mother will be there for her daughter. Those feelings are coldly and dismissively put to shame with the classic “What, though, have you done?”

The mother’s reaction is perhaps very human when one puts one’s own needs above those of one’s children and deliberately closes one’s eyes to dissatisfaction and failure. I do not know. One thing I do know, though: When you, as a child or young person, finally take courage and tell the world outside what is really going on behind the facade, you hope that someone, preferably your mother, listens and takes you seriously.

I wonder if my school at the time in the 1980s would have reacted if I had raised the tab for what everyday life looked like in my family far out in the country in V. Velling, where violence, humiliation, social control and mental illness were part of everyday life ? I hardly think so. The signs from 3 out of 5 school-going children must have been there, but no one responded. I hope they would today.

DR puts an important theme on children’s dissatisfaction and society’s responsibility under the microscope

DR plays on the fact that we as viewers do not really know if Holly is telling the truth. Is she just a hurt teenager with a budding young mind who has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that her mother has a boyfriend and a sexuality? Is she lying to get attention? Did the Danish style prevail, so that fantasy mixed with the characters in her everyday life?

I can not imagine that a public service channel like DR in a drama series that is broadcast in prime time, intends to run the situation so far that after the last episode we are sitting with a social worker who has overreacted and a young girl , we’ve found out we can not trust. It would be against the spirit of the times and all that the public debate, including Mette Frederiksen, has focused on since Frederiksen’s New Year’s speech, where she announced that she sided with the children and was “the children’s minister.”

Although I will probably get nausea and stomach ache again, I am grateful that DR dares to focus on the difficult topics. Surely it’s that I’m sitting ready in front of the screen next Sunday hoping Holly gets a smile on her face and that her little brother gets the shine off her broken arm.

(Google translate)

Da jeg konfronterede narkohandleren, blev den summende metrostation helt stille. Pludselig kunne jeg se, hvordan mit land har forandret sig

Trykt i Berlingske Tidende d. 13. Oktober 2019

Radio Debat i Rushys Roulette på Radio 24/7

En solskinsdag i metroen opdagede jeg, hvor meget Danmark har forandret sig, mens jeg har boet i udlandet.

En sommersolskinsdag ville Desiree M. Ohrbeck vise sine børn friluftsbadet ved Islands Brygge, men en oplevelse i metroen ændrede stemningen. Foto:Linda Kastrup — En sommersolskinsdag ville Desiree M. Ohrbeck vise sine børn friluftsbadet ved Islands Brygge, men en oplevelse i metroen ændrede stemningen.Foto: Linda Kastrup

KRONIK

Desiree M. Ohrbeck, cand.mag. i dansk og historie samt tidl. sendelektor, University of Washington, Seattle

Kan du huske den danske sangerinde Natasja? Hun er bl.a. kendt for sangen »Gi’ mig Danmark tilbage«.

Jeg bor i USA, det har jeg gjort i næsten ni år. Mine to børn havde ikke været i Danmark i halvandet år, denne sommer var vi i København, og på en sommersolskinsdag ville jeg vise dem friluftsbadet ved Islands Brygge. Jeg havde planlagt at tage metroen med ungerne, en for dem eksotisk oplevelse.

Kupeen er fuld, sommerferien synger på sidste vers. Ét sæde er frit, det lige foran mine børn. Jeg sidder på sædet bag dem. På en station kommer en ung mand slentrende ind med sin telefon oppe ved øret, han sætter sig på rækken foran mine børn og vender sig, så han har front mod dem. Og så fortsætter han telefonsamtalen, som tydeligt handler om at sælge stoffer. Alle hører, hvad han kan tilbyde næste gang, personen i den anden ende får brug for noget.

Ingen siger noget, faktisk dukker folk nakken yderligere over deres telefoner i et uniformt ryk, da det bliver klart, hvad der foregår. Jeg bliver vred, det her er ikke det Danmark, jeg har set frem til stolt at vise børnene. Jeg kigger insisterende på den unge mand, men han hverken sænker stemmen eller vender sig væk. Tværtimod gengælder han mit blik uden den mindste flakken.

Da han går forbi mig for at forlade kupeen, siger jeg: »Måske skulle du tænke på, at der er børn til stede, når du fører sådan nogle samtaler.« Han svarer: »Det tænker jeg sgu ikke så meget på,« hvortil jeg svarer: »Nej, men det skulle du måske!«

På Islands Brygge Station siger min ni-årige: »Mommy, det er ham fra metroen.«

Jeg svarer: »Ja.«

Og så tænder han helt af, den unge mand: »Hvad er dit problem, dame?« snerrer han.

Jeg vurderer situationen i forhold til min og børnenes sikkerhed. Jeg ved, at jeg skal tale højt, pådrage mig opmærksomhed. Jeg regner også med, at han vil reagere på, at jeg nævner ære og familie, han er mellemøstlig af udseende, som det vist hedder. Så jeg siger højt: »Du sidder og dealer drugs i metroen foran mine børn. Dét er mit problem! Hvordan ville du føle, hvis nogen gjorde det foran din søster?« Den summende metrostation bliver på ét sekund helt stille.

Han flyver op i hovedet på mig med en strakt pegefinger: »Du kan ikke bevise noget, jeg har ingenting på mig. Vil du måske ringe til politiet?« Han vender vrangen ud af bukselommerne og går truende tættere på mig, mens han læner sig ind over mig. Jeg holder min arm strakt ud, håndfladen vender fladt mod ham. Jeg ved, at en fremstrakt håndflade i visse kredse er en provokation, men jeg ønsker at markere, at jeg er den stærkeste.

»Du skal ikke stå med fingeren oppe i hovedet på mig! Og ja, det skulle være min største fornøjelse at ringe til politiet – jeg er sikker på, at de kender dig i forvejen!«

Berlingske modtog for en uge siden et kronikforslag fra danske Desiree M. Ohrbeck, der er bosat i USA. I kronikken omtaler Desiree M. Ohrbeck en episode i metroen i København, som fandt sted under hendes besøg i Danmark denne sommer.

Berlingske har fået episoden bekræftet af det ældste af Desiree M. Ohrbecks to børn, der var med i metroen den pågældende dag. Berlingske har desuden talt med en veninde til Desiree M. Ohrbeck, der ligeledes bekræfter, at episoden var et samtaleemne, da de senere samme dag mødtes.

Jeg trækker min telefon frem, men indser at jeg ikke vil være i stand til at ringe til politiet. Jeg er bange, og min hjerne kan med ét ikke huske min pinkode til telefonen eller nummeret til det danske politi. Mine knæskaller vibrerer voldsomt. Jeg ved, at mine rystende hænder vil afsløre mig, men jeg vil have ham til at forsvinde, og jeg vil ikke vige. Så jeg holder krampagtigt fast i telefonen.

»Din fucking kartoffel, din fucking dame…« mere hører jeg ikke.

»Du skal ikke tale sådan til en voksen kvinde! Hvad bilder du dig ind!« får jeg sagt med dyb, høj og vred stemme. Han vender sig og hopper ind i en modkørende Metro, tilbage i samme retning, han kom fra. Det er slut, stationen vågner til live igen. En dame siger ud gennem mundvigen: »Godt sagt.«

På vej til Islands Brygge Friluftsbad får jeg en snak med mine børn, sådan har de aldrig set deres mor før. Min yngste sagde: »Mommy, hvis han havde slået dig, så havde jeg…« og så må vi have en snak om, at det her var min kamp, ikke hans. Og en snak om, at når man ser noget, der ikke er i orden, så skal man sige fra.

Efter at have diskuteret optrinnet med mine veninder, er der flere ting, jeg ikke forstår. Samtlige veninder, skønne, veluddannede og oplyste kvinder sagde, at de ikke ville have sagt eller gjort noget. At det er en del af at leve i en storby, at de elsker mangfoldigheden, og at typer som han er en del af prisen. At det potentielt kunne være farligt at blande sig, at man skal ignorere optrin som dette.

Men det er simpelthen for letkøbt!

»Når jeg stiller spørgsmål, der handler om integration, er der stort set ingen i min danske omgangskreds, der vil tale om, at der er problemer.«

På vores danmarksferie har vi siddet til mange middagsselskaber og diskuteret politik, men når talen falder på Danmark og de små, men over tid store ændringer, jeg ser i bybilledet, når vi er på besøg i Danmark, ændrer stemningen sig. Mine veninder enten vrider og vender sig eller har langhårede argumenter for, hvorfor situationen er, som den er i forhold til de forholdsregler, der har sneget sig ind i den adfærd, de udviser i det offentlige rum og de dårlige tal mht. integration på så mange parametre.

Når jeg stiller spørgsmål, der handler om integration, er der stort set ingen i min danske omgangskreds, der vil tale om, at der er problemer. Udfordringer, der i min optik har at gøre med en samfundsændring fra en homogen masse med kulturelle fælles referencerammer til en mere kulturelt mangfoldig befolkningssammensætning – nogle slår det ligefrem hen og anfægter tallenes klare sprog.

Jeg tror, at det, jeg oplevede en almindelig hverdagseftermiddag i metroen i København, er sigende for den udvikling, danskerne har så stor en berøringsangst over for. Jeg bliver frustreret, når jeg til de føromtalte middagsselskaber hører danskerne pudse deres fjer og galpe op om, hvor fantastisk en velfærdsstat, de er en del af, hvor rigtigt skruet sammen den danske model er, hvor meget resten af verden kunne lære.

For godt nok har folk de helt »rigtige« værdier og er i teorien rummende, men når det kommer til stykket, tør de ikke stå op for disse værdier. Heller ikke på en metrostation fuld af mennesker.

Tænk, hvis folk havde sagt: »Hey, makker, det der må du hellere få ordnet et andet sted.« Hvis den unge mand ikke er vant til at komme uden for den subkultur, jeg formoder han til daglig slår sine folder i, er det da lige præcis i sådanne situationer, at danskernes stolthed over deres værdier skal komme til udtryk. Hvis ingen føler sig tilskyndet til at sige fra, er det, at situationen kan komme ud af kontrol og blive farlig.

»Det handler om almindelig, ordentlig, accepteret opførsel. «

Samtidig er der frygten for at skille sig ud fra mængden ved at blande sig. Det er så dansk at føle sig tryg, når man er en del af massen, vi er jantelovssocialiseret til, at det er negativt at skille sig ud, også selvom det betyder at skille sig ud ved at sige fra.

Frygten for at blive stemplet

Og så er der, måske vigtigst, berøringsangsten for at blive stemplet som racist, for han havde jo ikke lyst hår og blå øjne, manden i metroen. Desværre, for ja, jeg ville have reageret på præcis samme måde, hvis han havde lignet en almindelig blåøjet kartoffelspisende dansker. For mig handler det ikke om hudfarve, kultur eller religion. Det handler om almindelig, ordentlig, accepteret opførsel.

Hvis der er en konsensus om, at der er visse ting, som ikke accepteres i det åbne, offentlige rum, sker der måske en masseopdragelse fra majoritetssamfundets side. Hvis Danmark ikke snart vågner op og tør stå op for de principper og den høje moral, som danskerne i venners trygge lag omkring de veltildækkede middagsborde klapper hinanden på skuldrene over, tør jeg ikke tænke på, hvordan samfundet ser ud næste gang, jeg tager mine unger på tur en sommersolskinseftermiddag i København.

Så »hey, Danmark, hvad sker der for dig? Jeg savner dig, jeg vil ha´ dig tilbage li´som i de gamle dage, hvor … man mente, hvad man sagde.